These fleeting thoughts come and go at their own will.
There is nothing I can do to stop these horrid thoughts.
I'm constantly plagued by them...
In the meantime, I shall keep on this old, crumbling mask I am wearing.
Help others while keeping my pain out sight. No need to trouble them.
I shall keep my skin covered in pencil lines before coloring it in with red until I work up the nerves.
I silently cry but no not how to ask....
Understand that I type this out in hopes of chasing away these darkening thoughts. Silent words is the only way I can vent without doing any physical harm. But I do fear that this method won't save me for long.
.....and I feel terrible in posting this.